I just got back from China with what seems like nothing but bad news. It’s hard for me to pinpoint what has been wrong with my throwing, but my first two competitions of the year have been far from what I was expecting. To tell you the truth, I left China in embarrassment, but also with hope to still finish my season strong.

Not a secret that I call myself a Christian, and praise God for the talent and opportunities he has given me; but that doesn’t mean that it always comes with success. I think if anything my career as a javelin thrower has seen more failures than victory. And I am who I am today because of not just my victories but because of my failures as well.

I honestly have nothing to complain about; I am healthy, stronger than last year, under less pressure, and have had a pretty great season of training so far, but I am not sure why it is not translating to my meets.

After 20 hours of travel I arrived at a pretty awesome hotel in Beijing, China only a few blocks from the Olympic Stadium. We had three square meals provided for by the meet, shuttle buses to the stadium for training, and an English speaking staff to make our stay super comfortable.

Just before the meet I was overwhelmed by a last minute surge of confidence. Many of the throwers just competed in the Shanghai Diamond League meet just three days prior, so I assumed they would all throw 2-4 meters less than they normally would. I gauged the competition and assumed 83.5m would win and anything over 80m for top 3 finishers. I also gauge my ability by my training and see no reason why I can’t be one of those top guys.

Warm-ups were great, with plenty of time to throw javelins in the practice stadium, but it didn’t translate in my first; it was measured at just 69.71m (228-8). Honestly I would have scratched the throw if I knew it was under 70m line but it was hard to judge.

The 2012 Diamond League champion Vitezslav Vesely opened with just a 70m throw and scratched it on purpose. Only two throwers opened well, a Kenyan (yes a Kenyan), and Dmitrii Tarabin who has been throwing considerably well lately.

The surge of confidence rolled over me again. Everyone was throwing poorly and it wouldn’t be hard for me to compete for top three if not win. I threw my second and intentionally fouled it when I noticed it was not better than my first.

I wasn’t in last place; as long as I threw my last throw farther I would guarantee myself to make finals. Vitezslav Vesely followed his first 70m throw with 71m in the second round. He couldn’t scratch this one out of fear that he would not make finals. He is a consistent 83-88m thrower and was really struggling in the meet as well, dare I say more than I was.

I knew that I had to give it my all on my last throw; I could not hold anything back. I hit the last throw with a lot more speed in the end of my approach and my foot nearly edged the foul line. I could see over the top of my foot that it was as close to a foot foul as you could get, but probably not a foot foul. I hopped back and watched the javelin fly. I was a decent throw, over the 70m line (probably 73-74m), and it would probably put me in fifth place. I was mentally pissed that I was still struggling, but excited for three more throws in finals to figure things out. As I stepped out of the runway the official raised the red flag; she must have seen my foot touch the white line. Czech thrower Petr Frydrych saw the flag being raised and in clear English exclaimed, “They called that a FOUL!?”

I disagree with her call, but there was nothing I could do about it. I was in 8th place at the time, but the thrower in 9th place still had one more throw. If he threw farther than me he would make finals and I would not. I hate having my fate decided by someone else, but as much as I hate it I seem to always find myself in that position. His final throw surpassed the 70m line and it was all over for me. The wave of confidence turned into a wave of embarrassment as I exited the stadium.

Vitezslav Vesely had a 3rd round throw of maybe 60m that he purposely scratched. I saw results and to my surprise he turned things around in finals and threw 80.81m (265-1) to take second place. It’s amazing how much small changes can mean big differences in a thrower. I only wish I had 3 more throws to see how much I could turn things around.

I try and take some positives away from the meet. There aren’t many, but as hard as it is for me to say I know I need to be happy with the failures that I have, because it will build perseverance for the future. If all we see is success we are not tested and we will never learn to fight to get better. It is in the times of failure that we grow the most. I can say that I am happy to be growing and fighting for the gifts God has given me.

 

Train like it depends on you.
But pray; knowing it only depends on God.

Glory to God, Stay Healthy, Throw Far. #TrainBIG #Moscow2013